The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, making love carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; page it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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