The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective feelings of attraction, excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .

But when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that many of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is readily why not try these out offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, link we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is view website important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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